Stop the presses! Or for something we all kinda guessed back when the first iPhones sold out.

I get a lot of press releases.

A lot.

I used to forward the funny (or creepy) ones to my colleagues. These days, I’m sharing them on my Google+ stream. Because my colleagues don’t like spam (imagine that!)

This one, though, merits a Wondertwisted treatment. This one came from TeleNav, a company that might have something to do with Global Positions System apps for smartphones.  I can’t be sure. From this pitch, all I can divine is that a certain someone in the PR department has been in a cold sweat ever since she realized her iPhone is still at home on the charger.

We’ll call the PR rep “Esmerelda.” She writes the following to me:

Lucinda,

If you’ve ever felt naked just because you forgot your mobile phone at home (Why, yes, Esmerelda,  I have), a new survey by GPS mobile apps developer TeleNav shows you’re not alone.

The survey sheds light on just how important mobile phones have become in Americans’ lives (ya think?). For example:

· Would you have guessed that 22% of mobile phone users—including 40% of iPhone users—would rather go a week without a toothbrush than without their phone? (I wouldn’t have guessed a week. Three days, max. Yag. Remind me not to stand too closely to anyone with an iPhone. Crap, this means I can’t hang out with most of my friends.)

· One-in-three respondents would forego sex for a week if it meant they could hang on to their mobile device. (Oh, who wouldn’t, Esmerelda? Nookie is pedestrian – stultifying even – compared to what lies ahead of me if I master this level of Angry Birds.)

· 11% of mobile phone users said they’d rather lose their wallet or purse than their phone—a number that jumped to 23% among BlackBerry users. (Same here. Because I don’t have Mr. Chopsticks’ takeout number memorized.)

TeleNav prepared an infographic highlighting some of the survey’s results, and invites you to repost it as you see fit. You can find the image, along with more fascinating results, here: http://www.telenav.com/about/pr-summer-travel/report-20110803.html

Best, Esmeralda

TelNav publicist and current victim of smartphone withdrawl.

I love these kinds of press releases. I love that they presume to report something surprising. As if we all aren’t drifitng off to sleep spooning our phones! I really appreciate a publicist – nay, an entire company –  that will survey a sampling of people who downloaded their app to back up this shocking news with sorta-kinda science!

I’d write another graf, but it’s lunchtime, and I’ve got some thieving pigs to kill.

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One comment on “Stop the presses! Or for something we all kinda guessed back when the first iPhones sold out.

  1. julian
    August 16, 2011 at 3:44 pm #

    Ha ha ha. I love this.

    I was a journalist in a past life. I did a stint in the military for eight years as a journalist during the Clinton administration. Really more of a spin doctor than journalist.

    Either way I can relate to the press release that, to the sender, seems like such hard hitting news and in the shop we laughed at the mundane.

    I miss being a journalist. : )

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